Road Trip!

I am now in the second day of my new years road trip, my day with Amy in Kansas. It has been really great so far, getting my mind off things and making new memories. This really reminds me how much more sense it would make not to go back and live in Bolivar however. Being in a town that I haven't been with Mike in, where no random buildings or parks hold powerful memories is real nice.... but I'll just need to find those places in Bolivar - make new memories with a new life.

New life....
is this my new theme? I hope so - it sounds like a good one! Shifting with a purpose is great, and new life would be a good purpose!

Amy and I have been having a great time - she really is quite fun to hang out with - we met with some of her friends and watched Pretender movies - fun times!!! And I went to sleep easily. Just laid down and slept. That is peace.

So this trip is off to a great start, full of great homemade foods and friendship -
Onward!

sifted

I feel very very sifted currently, but the good part about that is that I am emptied of some of the things that weighed me down.
I have graduated college now, and I'm trying to figure out how I fit into the grown-up world, and I think I'll start by not quite starting.
I'm planning on living with my college friends and figureing things out from here. I was planning on getting married and following the guy in whatever he was doing, but that fell through the sifter and now I'm on my own.
SO - life after love. I know like Cher better.... I am looking at how to live my life out there in the open wisely and all, but still loads of fun. who knows, but at least I'm sifted.

I just read a really good part of Beth Moore's Bible Study When Godly People Do Ungodly Things and one part really blew me away. It said that when we do not take Christ up on the joy of fulfillment within our walls, we look longingly at things outside of the walls. This makes a ton of sense!
How many times have I been so upset at the christian faith because I as a believer and child of God am dissatisfied? I know that true fulfillment and satisfaction comes from Christ, so when I am lonely and sad and worn out and trying so hard that I'm bleeding inside, I get angry with God. I get mad because I'm doing everything I can to stay away from sin and yet it keeps slapping me in the face.
Because
I am not fulfilled in Christ. I am not looking for fulfillment in him. I am looking for fulfillment in a relationship and a job/degree and friends and missions. I am looking for fulfillment in following his law, when I need to only look to him!
So how does this transfer to everyday life? I'm not sure yet. Resting in the joys and promises of my Lord. Resting in my Savior and Maker, in my Lover. Resting? Interesting.

New beginning?

So I've decided to start an actual blog, one that people can actually read, and not the random confessions of an emotional wreak. So this is it - !